Episode 2: Sitting with Discomfort
Sitting with Discomfort: Learning to Face Your Feelings
On this episode of Flip the Script with Vic, host Victoria Nielsen explores the importance of self-care and confronting uncomfortable feelings. She shares her journey of avoiding uncomfortable emotions and how she eventually learned to sit with them. Listeners will learn the significance of surrendering to uncertainty and processing emotions, as it's necessary for personal growth. The episode also covers moving through emotions, taking chances, and briefly touches on the Akashic Records. Tune in to discover how embracing discomfort can lead to personal expansion.
[00:01:04] Surrendering to present feelings and an uncertain future.
[00:04:05] Moving forward despite doubts.
[00:09:14] Emotions are energy. Feeling them is key to progress.
[00:09:59] Fill your cup first to help others.
[00:13:01] Your soul chooses lessons, growth through experiences.
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Cover art: @house.of.morgan
Full Transcript Below:
Hello loves, welcome to another episode of flip the script with Vic. I'm your host, Victoria Nielsen. Oh, man, what do we want to talk about today, guys, I have been feeling such anxiety in my body, and I've been really trying to sit with it.
And it made me realize, or think about I should say, all of the times that I didn't feel my feelings, and I didn't allow myself to move through whatever I was going through. That instead of confronting the fear, or the anxiety, or the thing making me really fucking uncomfortable, I would numb myself.
[00:01:04]:
I would smoke weed, I would drink, I would go out with friends, I would do anything I could to not be present in my body and present with the emotions that I was having.
And I honestly know now that sitting with those uncomfortable feelings is the best thing that you can do for yourself. And that when you have that anxiety in the body, or when you have that fear, you're not living in the present moment. You're living in the future. You're trying to put the puzzle pieces together where maybe there isn't even a pathway forward yet.
And, you know, I was talking to a good friend yesterday about this idea of surrender and that surrendering to the surrender is what so many of us need to be doing right now because we don't have all the answers and we want the answers, right?
We want to say XYZ, we'll get you this exact thing, but that's not how the universe works. That's not how the world works. We have free will, yes, but when things are not clear, when the pathway forward is not clear, when we are unsure, when we are feeling anxiety, when we are feeling fear, it's because things have not settled yet. The energy has not settled yet to tell you the next right move or the next thing to do.
[00:02:18]:
And we want to go, go, go. And we want to move, move, move. And we want to be in a constant state of motion because society is in a constant state of motion. We have been told that we are not worth anything unless we're being productive. We've been told that we are not worthy, truly, if we are not outputting at a certain pace, if we don't have anything to show for our efforts. But what if the efforts are internal? What if that's what we have to show for everything? That inner work, that inner light, That's the real gift and the real achievement in this lifetime I have found is that inner work. And It's not easy, right? I think people think that working on yourself needs to be this constant thing. And it does sort of, right? It needs to kind of be in the background and something that you're thinking about.
[00:03:10]:
But I truly believe that the lessons that come up for you come up when you're ready to deal with them and when they are helping move obstacles out of your path forward. So this fear that I've been feeling, I know it's around sharing my voice in this podcast. This anxiety that I'm feeling, I know it's about an uncertain future. I still have a corporate job. I've been home on maternity leave for the last year with my second son. I go back next month and I thought I had it all planned out exactly what was going to happen. I was going to go back. I was going to get to work from home.
Speaker A [00:03:42]:
It was going to be great. I was going to get pregnant again, going to go out on maternity leave and then, OK, yeah, finally I was going to leave the corporate job. And that's not the way that it's working. I'm going to have to go back to the office. And I feel a lot of anger around it. I've been home the last 3 and 1 1 half years. I don't want to be in an office anymore. And So now I have a choice, right? I have a choice to continue the status quo or to make a change.
Speaker A [00:04:05]:
And so now I am gonna make a change. I'm only staying for so long and then I'm gonna be done. And I've set that date in the sand to myself and to the universe, and I'm gonna hold myself to it. But now comes the worries, the mind chatter, the ego of can I really do this? Who am I to do this? Is this gonna be a big mistake? And that's natural, right? Our mind wants to keep us in a safe space. Our mind from so many thousands of years ago was all about survival, was all about making decisions so that you survived. Well, now we're past that, but our brains have not evolved out of that survival mode unless we can train it to move out of that survival mode that we can relax our parasympathetic nervous system so that it's not always in fight or flight or this decision is going to sink my family. And so I was reminded today to come back to my mat, to come back to my practice, to come back to myself. I've been really busy, we've been traveling, and I thought I was coming back to myself.
Speaker A [00:05:10]:
I was spending time every evening running and going with my husband to the beach and having those moments with him, but I wasn't having those moments with myself. And I came back to my mat today and I drew some oracle cards and I did some deep breathing and I moved my body. And guess what? I feel better. I don't feel a thousand percent better, but I feel incrementally better. That anxiety, those feelings, they live in your body. And so if you do not move them up and out of your body, that's where they're gonna stay. You have years of anxiety and fear and depression and sadness and all of these emotions that you've been stuffing down, but they're still there. They're still there in your body until you decide to deal with them.
Speaker A [00:05:53]:
And they're gonna bubble up to the surface until you do. And so today, I just want you to think about the ways that you numb yourself or that you tune yourself out to these emotions and these feelings because you don't want to feel them. And I get it, feeling your feelings is really fucking hard. I for years didn't want to. I was always told I was super emotional growing up. I was the girl that cried at everything. If you hurt my feelings, if you, you know, if I felt some type of way, I was super emo. I have journals of so many super emo diary entries where I was crying on my bed.
Speaker A [00:06:31]:
But that was the way that I needed to process them until I was told by society that that was too much. I should stop crying. I shouldn't act like that. And so the way to cope with it was me turning to smoking weed. And I smoked weed, gosh, every single day, all day for years. And I thought that it helped me deal with my anxiety when really it was just masking it. Really, it was just suppressing the feelings that I had. And then when I stopped, all of those feelings came rising back to the surface.
Speaker A [00:07:01]:
And I wasn't really living. I was not truly interacting with the world around me, and I wasn't really present. I was even more in my head until I got to the point where I was kind of having anxiety attacks. And that's when I finally was like, okay, wow, this is not doing what I wanted it to do. I've got even more emotions coming to the surface now because I've tried to stuff them down so much, there's nowhere else for them to go. And so connecting with your body can be easy. You can literally put on a song and just dance around the room. That's what I just did.
Speaker A [00:07:34]:
I just put on like an amazing Florence and the Machine song and just let my body lead the way. And that was it. And now I feel better. And I know I'm going to have to devote myself to this, come back to this practice every single day. That's when you can actually hear your truth. Because all of those feelings are not your truth. Your mind wants you to think they are. They want, you know, your mind wants you to think that that fear, that anxiety, that sadness is your truth.
Speaker A [00:08:03]:
It's not. Your truth has a resonance and a lightness to it and your truth doesn't feel like that. Your truth feels good. And in surrendering to yourself and to that truth, that's when you are guided. That's when you're gonna find that next step. That's when you're gonna know what to do. But when you're feeling uncomfortable and feeling like you need to do something but you don't know what to do, but you have all this anxious energy, Move your body. Of course, it's great if you have time, go for a run, actually go to the gym, like whatever that looks like for you is beautiful, but it can be really simple.
Speaker A [00:08:40]:
Just moving your hips, just putting on a song and dancing, we store so much trauma in our hips as women. You can do just even hip openers, like a pigeon pose on a yoga mat, something static and simple. I challenge you actually, do pigeon pose on each side for just 5 minutes each side. I bet you burst into tears. And I don't say that in a mean way. I say that because you need to release those emotions and those things that are coming up for you. And tears are medicine. We've been told that tears are bad, but they're not.
Speaker A [00:09:14]:
Tears are actually energy in motion. And that's really what our emotions are. They're just energy in motion. And energy always needs to be in motion for you to move forward, for you to take that next step, for you to do the next thing. It's funny, as I'm telling you guys this, I feel myself burping. That's also energy in motion. It shows that I am moving through things as I'm talking to you guys about this. And so if you get anything from today's episode, I want it to be that it can be simple And you can start small in feeling your emotions, but they need to be felt because processing them and moving through them is what's going to get you to the other side and is what's going to help you.
Speaker A [00:09:59]:
And tapping into that power is where your truth lies. And when you are capable of holding that space for yourself and showing yourself that love, that's when you're capable of doing it for other people. So as a mom, I say to Lime blue in the face that I've got to fill my cup first And today was a prime example of that. I was so snippy this morning, you know with the kids with my husband I yes, I'm tired from traveling and not having time to myself, but I also needed to come back to my mat, to my practice, to my body. And now I'm going to go back and be a more present mom and be a more present wife and be more present in my life because I have done this for myself. So I encourage you, I encourage you, maybe pause this podcast, put on a song and dance, come back, but you need to feel whatever you're feeling today because that's also a compass for you and the way forward to show you where in your life you maybe have some stuck energy or you have some things that you need to work through. The universe brings you these things up at a time when you're ready to work through them. The universe doesn't give you more than you can handle and you are fully supported.
Speaker A [00:11:19]:
I, after I meditated today, kind of just started free riding and didn't even realize that the fear that was coming up for me was around making a mistake. That is leaving my corporate job a mistake. It's not a mistake. I've been feeling this for a long time. And now that the rubber meets the road, push has come to shove and I'm going to have to make a choice. It's scary. And that's okay. It's okay to feel the fear and do it anyway.
Speaker A [00:11:49]:
It's actually better to feel the fear and acknowledge it than to act like it's not there, or to then just climb up and not do anything. You have a choice and you have the power. And what if that amazing thing, that amazing dream was just outside of your fear, just past saying yes to that thing that seems impossible right now? And you would never know it because you never took the chance. We get to take chances in this lifetime. There are truly no mistakes. When I've connected to the Akashic Records, which is this energetic frequency of wisdom that anyone can tap into, and I'm sure I'll have a whole episode just about the Akashic Records because they have been my favorite tool and most profound tool of healing and empowerment. But what has come through is that you can never truly make a mistake, that you are always making decisions that are moving you towards an end. And so maybe the choices that you make send you down a little bit of a longer path or more winding path than a Decision that would have gotten you straight to your goal But there's a reason that you had to take that path there were lessons along the way that you had to learn That's why we're here.
Speaker A [00:13:01]:
You're gonna hear me say this over and over and over again on this podcast. We're here to learn and grow and expand. That's why your soul decided to incarnate in this earthly body right now. That's why your soul before it came here chose some of these lessons that you're learning right now. And that can be a hard pill to swallow because you're like, Victoria, why would I choose to have a miscarriage? Why would I choose to have financial ruin and file for bankruptcy? Why would I choose these things? Okay, you didn't choose like this exact thing, but you chose to feel these certain things because you can only feel them in a human body. You can only feel them here on earth. And your soul was yearning for the lessons that come with it, yearning to feel these feelings. So by denying yourself these feelings, by denying yourself what you came here for, you are only screwing yourself.
Speaker A [00:13:57]:
You're only screwing yourself from the greatest joy and the greatest part of being a human. So with that, I will leave you, get off my soapbox for today and remind you to move your body and feel your feelings because they are your compass through, they are the way through any situation that you are going through is to feel and process and alchemize so that you are able to Get out the other side and feel better. That's all I ever want for you is to feel better. Actually, to feel really fucking good. That's what I want for you. And I know you will. I love you.
